summer days

A plane embarks to a land of adventure. Six minutes ago it ascended through the opaque grey clouds that hover over the city. And on this plane sits a boy who can sing me to a state of erratic ecstasy.

And here I sit at my office desk, pondering about the crazy and utterly life-loving past four weeks I have lived open-heartedly and vulnerably. There is a sweet electricity that runs from the heels of my black open-toe wedges up through my crossed left thigh, up my spine, through my arms, and into my fingers that tap away at this keyboard. My eyes are slowly awakening. They no longer feel blinded and bruised by the bright office lights caused by my lack of sleep -I have been folding boxer shorts and blowing bubbles till late last night.

Everything about today is enlivening- from the smell of marshmallows in the morning to sweet goodbye kisses, to the bacon and egg wrap I devoured this morning, to the absence of a single new email in my office inbox. The sky feels heavy but she does not want to cry. She enjoys wallowing in her present state of in-betweenness. The scorching heat of new years day has vanished, and the cool rain from last night is evaporating. She does not want to be temperamental any longer. She just wants to be.

The buildings that encase my modest office on the 23rd floor do not feel like they are encroaching on me like they usually do. They stand back, solemnly and quietly.

And this is when I remember that I am just a little girl with big thoughts in a big city.